admitting our greatest debts

The Gemara, ג, discusses the famous case of מודה במקצת, the law that someone making a partial admission must take an oath on the remainder. The example given is Reuven taken Shimon to court, claiming Shimon owes him $100. Shimon replies that owes only $50. The Torah requires Shimon to make an oath to Reuven regarding the other half.
The Amora Rabah explains why the Torah requires this oath. A person has a sense of gratitude (hacarat hatov) to someone who lent him money, and therefore would not have the gall (hutzpa) to deny the entire loan to his face. However, Shimon could rationalize that he doesn't have all the money now, and think it prudent to admit only part, and pay the rest back later when he gets the chance.  The oath is intended to prevent this rationalization, and get the truth out.  The court can help Shimon arrange a payment plan.


We should be aware that the logic Rabah describes applies to each. We are all rationalizing to avoid admitting what we owe to others.  So many people have helped us, and it seldom comes naturally to thank them and admit that so much of our success is due to others.

One of the most difficult things is to admit that really, every pleasure and accomplishment we have enjoyed is direct from G-d. We would much rather credit our hard work or cunning. Or we want to think 'G-d gave me brains but I used them to get where I am'.  We are rationalizing to avoid giving G-d all the credit.

In fact, this is a constant test, as there is a mitzvah tmidi (constant commandment) on us “Do not have any other gods”, which means don't believe there is any power except for our Creator.  When we, or our ego really, tries to take the credit, we are pretending that we are the power that made it happen.  (This is the first step to ignoring G-d, see Devarim/Deuteronomy 8:12-17).

 We (our egos) are hooked on rationalization, it fuels our sense of self satisfaction but destroys our hacarat hatov.  What to do?

We can apply Rabah's logic.  If we can start admitting that G-d has provided us with small things, we are at least being מודה במקצת.  This will make it easier to admit that the bigger things, all of 'our' accomplishments, even life itself - everything is a gift.

To make a practical start, we can try to have a real sense of gratitude when we wake up alive in the morning. Jewish law provides a number of blessings we say every day – we thank our creator for eyes, our brain, our ability to walk, our clothing. We are thanking G-d, but since we say these every day, they become ritualized. Really the morning blessings are a way to start integrating gratitude a little at a time.  This gradual approach can avoid some of the pitfalls of the ego as we work our way up to thanking our Creator wholeheartedly for everything.