:ג coming clean up front

 When we make a mistake, we know the right thing to do is admit the problem and correct it as soon reasonably possible.  This is not always simple, and often what could have been a quick apology gets dragged out.

On daf ג: Tosafot brings a dispute between Rabbi Meir and his peers regarding the admission of a person who is accused by witnesses of eating חלב, a prohibited fat.  If the accused ate the fat unintentionally, he must bring an offering, a חטאת, to atone for this mistake.  If he ate on purpose he does not bring an offering, but his punishment is כרת "excision" (which is more serious, but lighter on the pocketbook). 

 The assumption is the accused did not eat the fat on purpose (we give our fellows the benefit of the doubt).  But if he says I ate on purpose, the Rabbis believe him and he is not liable to bring an offering, even if he only makes this admission after denying that he ate at all.  However, Rabbi Meir only believes such a confession if the accused offers it immediately.  If the accused first contradicts the witnesses, by saying "I did not eat", and only later admits "I did not eat as you thought - unintentionally, rather I ate intentionally" Rabbi Meir does not believe him.

It seems to me that Rabbi Meir is concerned that the accused is confessing to save some money, as if he was sincere about eating on purpose he would have admitted that right away instead of contradicting the witnesses.  The lesson for us is that when we make a mistake, if we delay coming to terms with it, the people we need to apologize to may be less willing to accept our admission as genuine. (However, this is not true when we apologize to our Creator, who is infinitely patient and always accepts תשובה).

This opinion is sensible.  So why are Rabbi Meir's peers willing to accept his admission even after the accused contradicting the witnesses?  One factor is the accused is not totally contradicting the witnesses, but rather explaining that when he said "I did not eat" he really meant "I did not eat unintentionally as you assumed, but on purpose".  Another factor is that the accused may realize that if he allows the testimony of the witnesses to stand, he will have to bring an offering that in reality is not needed (as an offering is not the proper atonement for eating חלב on purpose).  Once he realizes this, the accused has that additional pressure to help him overcome the shame of admitting he ate on purpose.  If this pressure is not enough, then he has committed the additional transgression of bringing an inappropriate offering (עבירה גוררת עבירה).

From here we can learn that even if we have delayed admitting our wrong doing, and seemingly could avoid ever admitting, continuing to hide is not the right thing to do.
Additional problems are likely to come up that will eventually drive us to confess.  The bottom line is that being willing to admit our wrongdoing right away is very difficult, but will enhance our credibility and help us avoid more complications.